They love their mannekins in Vietnam. They’re a must-have accessory for every clothing outlet of any kind, no matter how small, how hidden, or how execrable the pirated Chinese-made reproductions they’re pushing. And for reasons known perhaps only to the world’s mannekin-makers, every single one of them presents a prototypical Western physique to the world. There are no Asian features of any kind to be seen in the mannekins of Vietnam. For me this begs the question: are there no Asian mannekins anywhere in Asia? In all my travels in this fair land, I’ve yet to see one. They’re all white, caucasian, often blue-eyed, tall and seemingly caught in mid-speech, articulating something in what’s clearly a non-tonal language: “Real? Real?? What do you mean by ‘real’?”

China gets ‘Ultra’ sensitive

Prime Minister complains about Japanese cartoon

BEIJING — Chinese viewers are boycotting Japanese toon “Ultraman” after their Prime Minister Wen Jiabao complained recently that his grandson spent too much time watching the superhero instead of homegrown cartoons.

“I sometimes take care of my grandson,” said Wen last month during a visit to Jiangtong Animation in Wuhan, the capital of Hubei province in central south China. “But he always watches ‘Ultraman.’ He should watch more Chinese cartoons.”

He followed this up with a plea to animators to make interesting cartoons.

“Your work is meaningful. You should play a leading role in bringing Chinese culture to the world … let Chinese children watch more of their own history and its own country’s animation,” Wen said.

Keep talking your smack, Mr. Prime Minister. You just keep shooting off your mouth — and ask Terresdon, Kerronia or Mephilas what happens. An Ultra Chop to the forehead is what, combined with a Specium Ray blast that’ll leave your manhood a pair of charred raisinettes. So go ahead, bring it. You want the pain? You got it.