Next Nigerian Phishing Scam: Online Diplomas in Creative Writing

So have you heard about the new Nigerian e-mail phishing scam? (And how about those resourceful Nigerians? They could make a fortune in the U.S. with an MBA and a small business loan if they ever decided to go legit.) The latest variation dispenses with the ol’ desperate-widow-of-a-fabulously-wealthy-deposed-Nigerian-dictator-ploy and goes straight for the jugular: your e-mail address book. Take a look at the following letter – which hijacked rubes send to all their soon-to-be-former friends – and tell me I couldn’t make a bundle as an editorial consultant to these guys.

Subject: EMERGENCY!!!

HELLO
HOW ARE YOU DOING? I WANT YOU TO KEEP THIS CONFIDENTIAL BETWEEN BOTH OF US, I KNOW THAT I CAN PUT MY TRUST IN YOU ON THIS. PLEASE DO NOT LET ME DOWN. RIGHT NOW I AM IN AFRICA, NIGERIA. I CAME HERE ON A TRIP TO SEE A FRIEND AND WHEN I GOT HERE I LOST MY WALLET CONTAINING THE ADRESS OF MY FRIEND AND HIS CONTACT PHONE NUMBER, ALONG WITH MY ATM CARD AND OTHER VALUABLES.
SO RIGHT NOW I DO NOT EVEN HAVE ANY MONEY ON ME . I AM STAYING IN A HOTEL NOW , AND THE MANAGER IS ALREADY RANTING OVER HIS MONEY AND AS TIME GOES BY THE BILLS ARE INCREASING.
I WOULD WANT YOU TO LOAN ME $2000. I PROMISE TO PAY YOU BACK AS SOON AS I GET BACK… I WOULD WANT YOU TO HELP SEND THE MONEY VIA WESTERN UNION . GET BACK AT ME ASAP.
HOPE TO READ FROM YOU…
YOUR NAME HERE

As soon as the Nigerians learn how to turn Caps Lock off, we’re all in trouble.